Life together after marriage
Love is the most beautiful feeling. It inspires and gives strength. And here comes the most important and exciting moment-a marriage proposal. For a successful life together, it is necessary to be guided not only by feelings, but also by reason. What if you did not live together, but decided to start a family?
The husband makes the wife the owner of golubovi is the most wonderful feeling. It inspires and gives strength. Carried away by their feelings, lovers see only each other, not paying attention to the events surrounding them. Long walks, kisses, gifts-this seems to be the whole life. And here comes the most important and exciting moment-a marriage proposal. However, both lovers at the beginning of the relationship tend to show themselves exclusively from the best side. To analyze in such a situation is not easy, because feelings interfere. For successful joint life must be guided not only by emotions but also the mind. What if you did not live together, but decided to start a family? How to stay with your loved one and prevent your family boat in the future “crashed about life”? This article will help you cope with difficulties.
Getting rid of illusions
You love each other and can’t live without each other. Soon you’ll be married, together every day. However, the phrase “I can not without you”, unfortunately, is often replaced by the statement “I do not want to see you anymore.” What is it? Why do people who love each other change so much?
The main reason – in illusions. Unfortunately, many young couples who have decided to start a family, not quite adequately perceive what is happening. Meeting with a person only on walks, in a restaurant, it is impossible to understand the nature of man, his character. Often both believe that after the wedding will come an endless honeymoon. But it’s not! After the honeymoon will inevitably come weekdays, and this should be prepared.
Joint getnickname fact, marriage has a serious psychological burden. The status of husband and wife imposes a responsibility on you: if before you were responsible only for yourself, now you will largely depend on your loved one. You need to be prepared for this responsibility and look at your future realistically.
To psychologically prepare for the coming changes in your life, try the following recommendations:
“PUD of salt.” We all know the ancient saying that you need to eat with a person together “PUD of salt” to become close to each other. Of course, living together will provide you with such an opportunity, but it would be better if you decide to start on your own. Look at your chosen one in different problematic situations for your relationship.
Ask him to help someone in your family. If his reaction is positive, support him and help him pass this “test”.
If you are a believer, talk to your chosen one about the importance of religion. Try to understand how important it is for him. If the answer is no, think about whether to link fate with this man, as his discontent or cold neutrality can eventually destroy your family. Spouses should be United in the fundamental moments.
Outside view. Try, as far as possible, soberly look at reality and assess the prospects. Rate all the pros and cons of your character and the character of your chosen one. Accept quietly existence of certain shortcomings. Remember examples of the behavior of your loved one in different situations:
loves her little brother? That’s fine! Means, will love and his child;
does not consider the opinion of relatives? Be careful: such a person may be “Terry” egoist. It is quite possible that for such a person there are only two opinions: his and … erroneous.
Try to assess your character. Admit your shortcomings.
do you like to luxuriate in bed? This habit will have to be abandoned. At least-for the period of weekdays;
do not know how to cook (in the event that you are the bride)? It is worth asking your mother or grandmother to teach you at least a few “crown” dishes;
if you are a happy groom and used to all things for you cleans mother, accept the fact that you need to become more collected. Do not start a family life with disputes, who to collect socks and shirts in the apartment.
Getting to know your parents. Look closely at the family of your loved one. What is the atmosphere in his house? If it is warm and friendly – rejoice. If it is tense – be prepared for the fact that you will have to smooth out sharp corners, support your chosen one, find a way out of difficult situations. In no case should not become in opposition, even if your future relatives are wrong. If you are confident in your opinion, and it will serve for the benefit of your future family, stand your ground, but do it delicately.
What to do if the relationship with the parents do not go well?
First, don’t get emotional. Try to understand them. They are worried about their child, wish him happiness. Try to behave so that they do not doubt your sincerity and devotion to him.
If all your efforts seem to go unnoticed, do not enter into conflict. Understand: you are responsible for your loved one, not for his family. Ask yourself the question ” do I do everything to make my beloved (beloved) was happy?”. Be honest with yourself.
Have patience. If you calmly do what you have decided, that is, strive for harmony and happiness of your family, relationships with parents will improve over time. They will understand that you are true to your word and responsible.
First year of marriage
The couple is looking for each other blindly after the wedding, the young couple complain that their loved one has changed, become less attentive, more closed, and therefore does not love. But it is not necessarily so. The fact is that your chosen one has not changed at all, just so far you have known him only from the best side. As you know, ” every medal has two sides.” Therefore, you need to learn to accept your loved one along with his shortcomings.
To make your life together harmonious and “honey”, you should seriously think about its practical part. A happy marriage is not a gift of fate, but the work of both spouses. You need to know in advance that the first year of your life in the status of husband and wife will not be easy. It is his psychologists refer to the period of so-called “lapping”. You’re just getting used to each other. Over time, you will understand and feel each other better. To facilitate this period, try to determine the following important points.
Rapport. Without mutual understanding in the family it is impossible to achieve harmony. However, it does not always appear by itself. Even if before marriage you understood each other perfectly, now there may be quarrels. Treat it calmly and judiciously. Take it as a fact that your partner can sometimes be in a bad mood. In that case, just leave him alone for a while. Believe me, your loved one will appreciate it. However, if the quarrel still occurred, try not to raise the tone. The “Golden rule” argument correctly – never leave the subject of the dispute. Unfortunately, many do not comply with this rule, and the quarrel becomes almost universal scale. Also try to stick to the following:
if your spouse (spouse) came in bad mood, not touch his. No need with a threshold to declare the beloved, that the neighbor boy broke the window, and his beloved cat ruined the Wallpaper;
try to do something nice. Brew tea, cook his favorite dish;
don’t insist on talking. Just say you’re always willing to listen, but don’t be Intrusive.
Gen. To your family boat is not broken about life, you should seriously think about its device. It is best if you discuss together what you expect from each other. Share responsibilities:
if the source of material well – being is the husband, it is necessary to agree that housework is exactly the same work, which means that the wife should have a small weekend. Both spouses are interested in it: if the person has an opportunity to have a rest, he with great pleasure and productivity carries out the work and thus does not turn into the slave tortured by life;
on weekends, try to get out for a walk or to visit. This will make a variety of family life and give the opportunity to relax from household duties;
if necessary, help your loved one. Wife-at home (wash the dishes, load the Laundry in the machine), husband – at work, if you can advise something.
Family budget family budget. The distribution of family income is one of the most sensitive issues. We have already touched it in part. If the man earns, the wife should:
provide good nutrition, comfort and peace in the house. No matter how the world changes, the woman remains the guardian of the family hearth;
try to allocate funds reasonably: first to acquire the most necessary, then secondary.
If at the moment the family budget is replenished mainly thanks to the wife, both spouses need to be very careful. Don’t blame each other. It is better to try in a calm atmosphere to discuss the situation and make a decision.
If you both work, then discuss who pays for utilities, who-spending on food. It should be your joint, voluntary decision. It is very important not to demand from each other to “put on the table” the entire salary. Let each of you will have the opportunity to buy something personally for yourself.